I Lost My Beloved Son

11 

As I am sitting in the doorway of my home, watching children go to or from school in threes and fours, I feel as if a knife were piercing my heart. If my son were alive, he would have been 16-year-old, in the blossom season of his life. But now, my son is in the heaven alone.

 

I am Li Aiping, a 47-year-old woman living in the West Street, ChengguanTown, Puyang County, Henan Province. My son was born in October 1996. But his birth did not bring me too much joy. I had been physically weak. After giving birth to my son, I had postnatal complications. I had taken a lot of medicines, which achieved little effect.

 

When I was worried, a visiting relative introduced Falun Gong to me. She said that practicing Falun Gong was not only able to improve physical health without taking any medicine or injection, but also could bless the whole family, and that practitioners may become immortal eventually. I began to practice Falun Gong since I thought that it was useful and harmless, and that it may cure my disease without taking me a penny.

 

After a period of physical exercises on a regular basis, I had a healthier appetite and became stronger than before. It did not hurt in my waist and legs. I felt even more refreshed and energetic. I attributed these to the practice of Falun Gong. Gradually, I became a firm follower of Falun Gong, regarding my master as Buddha with omnipresent law body. I took ascending spiritually and achieving consummation as my life-long goals.

 

To show my piety, I took RMB1, 000 of baby’s milk money out of our limited income to buy special clothes and mattress for practicing Falun Gong as well as portraits of Li Hongzhi, a recorder and tapes on Falun Gong lectures. I devoted myself to learning and practicing Falun Gong. I regarded Falun Gong as my life, and worshiped Li Hongzhi wholeheartedly.

 

Since I was occupied in practicing Falun Gong, I neglected my son and the housework. My son often cried for hunger. My husband felt so distressed that he gave up business on hand, returning home to do our farm work, housework and to take care of the child.

 

In July 1999, Falun Gong was outlawed by the government. Most of the practitioners I knew gave it up and returned to normal life. My husband warned me not to practice Falun Gong anymore. So I promised to comply with his request orally. My husband took my promise as valid. So he left home again to do business. After my husband left home, I began to practice Falun Gong again because I thought that was a trial of my faith in my master. I made up my mind not to give up halfway. I not only practiced Falun Gong at home, but also joined others to distribute leaflets and publicize Falun Gong.

 

One day in October 2000, my then-three-year-old son was crying while seizing my clothes firmly. To avoid being bothered, I left my son alone at home, leaving him cry loudly. I went to the home of another practitioner to practice Falun Gong. When I went home, I found my son was sleeping on the sofa. His face turned red with cough and it seemed like something sticky in his throat. I touched his forehead and realized that he was having a fever. Influenced by Li Hongzhi’s idea about karma elimination, I did not take my son to hospital, nor did I give him fever reducers.

 

On the next day, my son’s body temperature rose to over 39°C. He coughed hard and was convulsed. But I still believed that Falun Gong was able to cure his disease through eliminating his karma, and that the law body of my master was able to protect my son. I tried to deliver energy to my son by practicing Falun Gong by the side of his bed, and made half an hour’s prayer for tens of times in front of the portrait of Li Hongzhi. What I did was aimed at helping my son get protection from my master and eliminate his karma.

 

Three days later, my son did not show any sign of recovery. On the contrary, his condition was worsening. I attributed it to the lack of my power and piety. So I invited other practitioners to help cure my son’s disease by practicing Falun Gong together. All of these efforts did not achieve any effect. My son fell into a coma. My neighbors were worried and suggested sending the boy to hospital. They said, “The boy will die if you continue to act in this way.” But I seemed as if possessed by ghost, and did not allow them to send my son to hospital.

 

The neighbors had no option but to call my husband who was in another city. My husband hurried home at that night, and took my son to a hospital upon his arrival. When they arrived at the hospital, my son breathed hard, his heart palpitated and his face turned blue. The doctors diagnosed that he had pneumonia and was in critical condition. Despite doctors’ rescue efforts, my son’s pneumonia turned into myocarditis since the chance for medical treatment was missed. On the next day, my son left the world at such a young age that he was not able to enjoy the joy and happiness of the human world.

 

The death of my son gave me a heavy blow. The cruel fact sobered me up completely. But my regretful tears cannot bring my son back to life.  

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